everything in tens
The storm brewing in your head. Is it any easier to forget?
I think we are all made of contradictions. It’s something that I struggle with.
I think sometimes, when fighting our demons, we can lose part of our identity. Maybe that part is not actually… lost. Maybe she got thrown in jail for ten years for bad behavior. Maybe I hoped that if she would just shut up so that I could have a “normal” life.
Well… it’s time to face the facts. I can’t just work a normal job and have a normal house and normal kids and a normal life and be a normal person and feel fulfilled. It’s not who I am. It’s not what I want. I’ve pretended that this could work for me but it really doesn’t.
I have to create things whether I like it or not. It’s so easy to lie to yourself. But now, I have to be honest.
Because…
Life is arbitrary. It’s random. You or I or someone that you love could die at any moment. I have seen it. I have fucking been there. I am not going to hold my breath and wait for the stars to align. I have to do the best I can to get the most out of every moment. To be the best and most authentic version of myself that I can.
We only have a finite amount of time.
Winter Dreams
Reflecting on the year. Good and bad… Suffering. Estrangement. Loved ones lost. The true friends that stand by your side through the bad times. Looking in the mirror and realizing that you are living a lie. Not knowing why you gave up, and picking yourself back up and trying again. The comfort of love. The lost years waiting. The loss of light… gaining insight. Finding the common threads that connect us all. Feeling lost and knowing that the answer was right there all along… Here’s hoping for a better future.
sweetness follows
I don’t think I can describe in words how profoundly music has influenced my life. It’s personal and something I think most people wouldn’t understand. R.E.M. is one of those bands that has had such a strong influence on my life that it’s impossible to explain.
Anyway, I was elated when I saw a package from R.E.M. in the mail. It’s their annual fan club gift package and I wasn’t even expecting to receive one, which I was very sad about, since I had slipped a few months on my renewal and then they broke up and I wasn’t ABLE to renew… I just figured that I had missed out on their last ever mailing, which always includes some special songs specifically released to fan club members and things like that. I was devastated that they haven’t toured in Michigan for the better part of a decade, and now they were breaking up and leaving me alone, with no future music to look forward to, on one of the worst years of my life. I understand their reasoning that farewell tours seem like a cash grab and things like that, but I still wanted the opportunity to see them live again!
After receiving this in the mail, I felt a little better. They didn’t have to do this, and I appreciate it so much.
The lyrics are perfect for a Christmas card, but as soon as I saw the words, I knew it was from Sweetness Follows. A dark moody song from their 1992 album Automatic for the People. Which I love. Strangely, it captures 2011 for me… there are some lyrics that literally describe what has been going on. 2011 has been dark and horrible but I can still see the light reflecting from the dark.
I’m really hoping 2012 doesn’t suck.
xoxoxoxox
Nancy
long lost
http://www.last.fm/music/Nancy+Nishihira/Long+Lost
I’m offering my 3 song EP, Long Lost, for free on Last.fm.
That’s all for now…
the cold
I’ve been working on this song for awhile. I’ve finally put it on Bandcamp. I am not sure if this will be the final version, but it’s part of my idea to get the songs out there before I release the album. I’m going to start small and branch out…
If people are interested in these songs, then I’ll definitely release a CD/vinyl/something. If not, then I won’t! At least I’ll have these songs out of my system and will have room in my head for new creations.
This song is about the cold and the ocean. It’s an acoustic song. It features a female vocalist (me). You might like this song if you like Adele or R.E.M. or Tori Amos… or maybe if you just hate the cold.
or you can go to the website: http://nancynishihira.bandcamp.com/track/the-cold
For the love of music
So today I had the opportunity to sing (as part of a choir group) with Vienna Teng at the Power Center in A2! This was very exciting for me, as I love her voice and her music (and also, I love to sing ^-^ ). A local musician, Katie Lee, started the show with a beautiful set. It was great to see two extremely talented female Asian-American singer-songwriters take the stage and amaze the audience. Katie and Vienna were both very warm and great to talk to!
The show was really inspiring to me as a musician.
I’ve been writing music since I was 14 years old. Over the last few years, I’ve felt really discouraged about pursing my love of music and writing and creating music. I think this will change… my guitar is dusty and needs some attention. I have bits and pieces of songs scattered around, it’s time to put them all together. It’s time to record every song that I’ve ever written. I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do with the recordings, but I am sure that I need to work harder at becoming more like myself…
In the Fields
I love the autumn.
This photograph goes with this song that I wrote when I was fifteen or sixteen. Both the song and photograph were created in a very different time period in my life… a time that feels very close to my heart… in the autumn.
Maker Faire Detroit!
I am playing a gig at Maker Faire Detroit!
I am set to take the stage at 1 pm on Saturday! I have yet to see if any special guests will be taking the stage with me…
It is a longish set so I might divide it into half rock/half acoustic~
Screw Guitar Center’s Credit Card!!!!!
I got a GC credit card through HCBS a few months ago because there was a promo deal.
However, because I mailed my check in (instead of paying online or via telephone), I believe they used this as an opportunity to give me a bogus late charge. When I called to complain, they said that you need 7-10 days when you mail in a check. So I asked 7-10 days are needed to process the check or are you telling me that this is the average time that the post office needs to deliver the check? They didn’t know so had to go verify. They gave me 30% off of the “late charge”… big deal. It equated to 8 bucks or so.
I highly doubt it would take over 7 days to mail a check from Michigan to Illinois.
Bottom line is… screw you GC card! I am cancelling you on Thursday.
Internet Contests – Does anyone ever win?
http://www.myspace.com/seedpage?sproutId=nAAFqU_KMSs5RAeX <—clicky here for demo content
I’ve entered a few contests in the last few months.
The most notable so far was the contest to play a set at a local Lilith Fair, which I didn’t win, but it was definitely fun to play and hear other female musicians from Metro D. Very cool. It was all set up via the site Ourstage, which bills themselves as the Indie Rocker’s version of Pandora. Sounds good to me.
So, the latest one I’ve entered is via Myspace.
I don’t remember what the prize is, but it was fun to custom design a litle mini faux mix tape.
On a side note, I was recently honored to see the great band Visqueen live at the Majestic.
It left me feeling very inspired. A little sad that such a radio friendly awesome band isn’t getting the attention deserved, but for me, it put into perspective the fact that it doesn’t really matter if you play in front of 20 people or 20000 people. It’s not a reflection on the quality of the music. More of a reflection that people want what is safe and mediocre, like eating at a chain restaurant over an independent.
So much of what consists of popular music in the US now is manufactured one hit wonder garbage that plays it safe and is below average in quality, yet it gets listened to by millions of people. Music isn’t meant to be a popularity contest. People who try on bands and songs like they try on shoes don’t interest me./end rant
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